No Title

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <script type="text/javascript"> //OwnerIQ var __oiq_pct = 50; if( __oiq_pct>=100 || Math.floor(Math.random()*100/(100-__oiq_pct)) > 0 ) { var _oiqq = _oiqq || []; _oiqq.push(['oiq_addPageBrand','Lycos']); _oiqq.push(['oiq_addPageCat','Internet > Websites']); _oiqq.push(['oiq_addPageLifecycle','Intend']); _oiqq.push(['oiq_doTag']); (function() { var oiq = document.createElement('script'); oiq.type = 'text/javascript'; oiq.async = true; oiq.src = document.location.protocol + '//px.owneriq.net/stas/s/lycosn.js'; var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(oiq, s); })(); } //Google Analytics var _gaq = _gaq || []; _gaq.push(['_setAccount','UA-21402695-19']); _gaq.push(['_setDomainName','tripod.com']); _gaq.push(['_setCustomVar',1,'member_name','wakpa',3]); _gaq.push(['_trackPageview']); (function() { var ga = document.createElement('script'); ga.type = 'text/javascript'; ga.async = true; ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '.google-analytics.com/ga.js'; var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s); })(); //Lycos Init function getReferrer() { var all= this.document.cookie; if (all== '') return false; var cookie_name = 'REFERRER='; var start = all.lastIndexOf(cookie_name); if (start == -1) return false; start += cookie_name.length; var end = all.indexOf(';', start); if (end == -1) end = all.length; return all.substring(start, end); } function getQuery() { var rfr = getReferrer(); if (rfr == '') return false; var q = extractQuery(rfr, 'yahoo.com', 'p='); if (q) return q; q = extractQuery(rfr, '', 'q='); return q ? q : ""; } function extractQuery(full, site, q_param) { var start = full.lastIndexOf(site); if (start == -1) return false; start = full.lastIndexOf(q_param); if (start == -1) return false; start += q_param.length; var end = full.indexOf('&', start); if (end == -1) end = full.length; return unescape(full.substring(start, end)).split(" ").join("+"); } function generateHref(atag, template){ atag.href=template.replace('_MYURL_', window.location.href.replace('http://', '')).replace('_MYTITLE_','Check%20out%20this%20Tripod%20Member%20site!'); } var lycos_ad = Array(); var lycos_onload_timer; var cm_role = "live"; var cm_host = "tripod.lycos.com"; var cm_taxid = "/memberembedded"; var tripod_member_name = "wakpa"; var tripod_member_page = "wakpa/index.htm"; var tripod_ratings_hash = "1732142319:4b03cda35c41e5aebdbba97a508ff8c6"; var lycos_ad_category = {"find_what":"the tale of two cities"}; var lycos_ad_remote_addr = "209.202.244.9"; var lycos_ad_www_server = "www.tripod.lycos.com"; var lycos_ad_track_small = ""; var lycos_ad_track_served = ""; var lycos_search_query = getQuery(); </script> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://scripts.lycos.com/catman/init.js"></script> <script type='text/javascript'> var googletag = googletag || {}; googletag.cmd = googletag.cmd || []; (function() { var gads = document.createElement('script'); gads.async = true; gads.type = 'text/javascript'; var useSSL = 'https:' == document.location.protocol; gads.src = (useSSL ? 'https:' : 'http:') + '//www.googletagservices.com/tag/js/gpt.js'; var node = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; node.parentNode.insertBefore(gads, node); })(); </script> <script type='text/javascript'> googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.defineSlot('/95963596/TRI_300X250_dfp', [300, 250], 'div-gpt-ad-1450204159126-0').addService(googletag.pubads()); googletag.defineSlot('/95963596/TRI_above_728x90_dfp', [728, 90], 'div-gpt-ad-1450204159126-1').addService(googletag.pubads()); googletag.defineSlot('/95963596/TRI_below_728x90_dfp', [728, 90], 'div-gpt-ad-1450204159126-2').addService(googletag.pubads()); googletag.pubads().enableSingleRequest(); googletag.enableServices(); }); </script> <script type="text/javascript"> (function(isV) { if( !isV ) { return; } var adMgr = new AdManager(); var lycos_prod_set = adMgr.chooseProductSet(); var slots = ["leaderboard", "leaderboard2", "toolbar_image", "toolbar_text", "smallbox", "top_promo", "footer2", "slider"]; var adCat = this.lycos_ad_category; adMgr.setForcedParam('page', (adCat && adCat.dmoz) ? adCat.dmoz : 'member'); if (this.lycos_search_query) { adMgr.setForcedParam("keyword", this.lycos_search_query); } else if(adCat && adCat.find_what) { adMgr.setForcedParam('keyword', adCat.find_what); } for (var s in slots) { var slot = slots[s]; if (adMgr.isSlotAvailable(slot)) { this.lycos_ad[slot] = adMgr.getSlot(slot); } } adMgr.renderHeader(); adMgr.renderFooter(); }((function() { var w = 0, h = 0, minimumThreshold = 300; if (top == self) { return true; } if (typeof(window.innerWidth) == 'number' ) { w = window.innerWidth; h = window.innerHeight; } else if (document.documentElement && (document.documentElement.clientWidth || document.documentElement.clientHeight)) { w = document.documentElement.clientWidth; h = document.documentElement.clientHeight; } else if (document.body && (document.body.clientWidth || document.body.clientHeight)) { w = document.body.clientWidth; h = document.body.clientHeight; } return ((w > minimumThreshold) && (h > minimumThreshold)); }()))); window.onload = function() { var f = document.getElementById("FooterAd"); var b = document.getElementsByTagName("body")[0]; b.appendChild(f); f.style.display = "block"; document.getElementById('lycosFooterAdiFrame').src = '/adm/ad/footerAd.iframe.html'; // DOM Inj Ad (function(isTrellix) { var e = document.createElement('iframe'); e.style.border = '0'; e.style.margin = 0; e.style.display = 'block'; e.style.cssFloat = 'right'; e.style.height = '254px'; e.style.overflow = 'hidden'; e.style.padding = 0; e.style.width = '300px'; var isBlokedByDomain = function( href ) { var blockedDomains = [ "ananyaporn13000.tripod.com", "xxxpornxxx.tripod.com" ]; var flag = false; for( var i=0; i<blockedDomains.length; i++ ) { if( href.search( blockedDomains[ i ] ) >= 0 ) { flag = true; } } return flag; } var getMetaContent = function( metaName ) { var metas = document.getElementsByTagName('meta'); for (i=0; i<metas.length; i++) { if( metas[i].getAttribute("name") == metaName ) { return metas[i].getAttribute("content"); } } return false; } var getCommentNodes = function(regexPattern) { var nodes = {}; var nodesA = []; var preferredNodesList = ['a', 'c', 'b']; (function getNodesThatHaveComments(n, pattern) { if (n.hasChildNodes()) { if (n.tagName === 'IFRAME') { return false; } for (var i = 0; i < n.childNodes.length; i++) { if ((n.childNodes[i].nodeType === 8) && (pattern.test(n.childNodes[i].nodeValue))) { var areaName = pattern.exec(n.childNodes[i].nodeValue)[1]; nodes[areaName] = n; } else if (n.childNodes[i].nodeType === 1) { getNodesThatHaveComments(n.childNodes[i], pattern); } } } }(document.body, regexPattern)); for (var i in preferredNodesList) { if (nodes[preferredNodesList[i]]) { if( isTrellix && nodes[preferredNodesList[i]].parentNode.parentNode.parentNode.parentNode ) { nodesA.push(nodes[preferredNodesList[i]].parentNode.parentNode.parentNode.parentNode); } else { nodesA.push( nodes[preferredNodesList[i]] ); } } } return nodesA; } var properNode = null; var areaNodes = getCommentNodes( new RegExp( '^area Type="area_(\\w+)"' ) ); for (var i = 0; i < areaNodes.length; i++) { var a = parseInt(getComputedStyle(areaNodes[i]).width); if ((a >= 300) && (a <= 400)) { properNode = areaNodes[i]; break; } } var propertyName = getMetaContent("property") || false; if( isTrellix && (properNode) ) { e.src = '/adm/ad/injectAd.iframe.html'; properNode.insertBefore(e, properNode.firstChild); } else if( isTrellix && !( properNode ) ) // Slap the ad eventhought there is no alocated slot { e.src = '/adm/ad/injectAd.iframe.html'; e.style.cssFloat = 'none'; var cdiv = document.createElement('div'); cdiv.style = "width:300px;margin:10px auto;"; cdiv.appendChild( e ); b.insertBefore(cdiv, b.lastChild); } else if( !isBlokedByDomain( location.href ) ) { var injF = document.createElement('iframe'); injF.style.border = '0'; injF.style.margin = 0; injF.style.display = 'block'; injF.style.cssFloat = 'none'; injF.style.height = '254px'; injF.style.overflow = 'hidden'; injF.style.padding = 0; injF.style.width = '300px'; injF.src = '/adm/ad/injectAd.iframe.html'; if( b && ( !isTrellix || ( typeof isTrellix == "undefined" ) ) ) // All other tripod props { var cdiv = document.createElement('div'); cdiv.style = "width:300px;margin:10px auto;"; cdiv.appendChild( injF ); b.insertBefore(cdiv, b.lastChild); } } }( document.isTrellix )); } </script> <div id="tb_container" style="background:#DFDCCF; border-bottom:1px solid #393939; position:relative; z-index:999999999!important">  <style> .adCenterClass{margin:0 auto} </style> <div id="tb_ad" class="adCenterClass" style="display:block!important; overflow:hidden; width:916px;"> <div id="ad_container" style="display:block!important; float:left; width:728px "> <script type="text/javascript"> if (typeof lycos_ad !== "undefined" && "leaderboard" in lycos_ad) { document.write(lycos_ad['leaderboard']); } </script> </div> </div> </div> <script type="text/javascript"> if (typeof lycos_ad !== "undefined" && "slider" in lycos_ad) { document.write(lycos_ad['slider']); } </script>  <div id="FooterAd" style="background:#DFDCCF; border-top:1px solid #393939; clear:both; display:none; width:100%!important; position:relative; z-index:999999!important; height:90px!important"> <div class="adCenterClass" style="display:block!important; overflow:hidden; width:916px;"> <div id="footerAd_container" style="display:block!important; float:left; width:728px"> <iframe id="lycosFooterAdiFrame" style="border:0; display:block; float:left; height:96px; overflow:hidden; padding:0; width:750px"></iframe> </div> </div> </div> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=140 BGCOLOR="#9966CC" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="09500a20ezthtv.gif"> <div> <B>Joe's Page</b></div> <div> <A HREF="id3.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Ehmans"><U><B>The Ehmans</b></U></A><B>   |   </b><A HREF="id4.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Joes Buds"><U><B>Joe's Buds</b></U></A><B>   |   </b><A HREF="id5.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Favorite Links"><U><B>Favorite Links</b></U></A><B>   |   </b><A HREF="id31.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="IMemory of Lyle F. Bald Eagle"><U><B>IMemory of Lyle F. Bald Eagle</b></U></A><B>   |   </b><A HREF="id34.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Action! ADAPT Style!"><U><B>Action! ADAPT Style!</b></U></A><B>  AD</b><FONT SIZE="4" COLOR="#FFCC00" FACE="EARTHQUAKE" ><A HREF="id42.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="_"><U><B>APT Spring Action</b></U></A><B>  </b><A HREF="id56.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="FACES"><U><B>Faces of ADAPT</b></U></A></FONT></div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" width=210 BGCOLOR="#CCFF66" TEXT="#080000"> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id2.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE=" About Joe"><U><B><IMG SRC="12b53650.jpg" border=0 width="83" height="101" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></b></U></A></div> <div> This is Joe.  He's the webmaster of The Ehman Family.<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000000" FACE="Arial" > </FONT><FONT SIZE="2" COLOR="#000000" FACE="Verdana" >He's wearing an ADAPT hat and a pair of those cool black wheel-chair driver's leather gloves.</FONT></div> <div> The photo is by Tom Olin.</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="0b378a00.jpg" border=0 width="120" height="160" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> This is Joe at five months.</div> <div> The photo was taken by his mother.</div> <div>   <SCRIPT>  </SCRIPT>  <form method="POST" action="http://mindit.netmind.com/mindit.shtml" target="_top"> <input type="hidden" name="SOURCE" value="510"> <table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0"><tr><td align="center"> <font face="arial,helvetica" size="-1"><b>Click to receive email <br>when this page is updated</b></font></td> </tr><tr><td align="center"> <input type="hidden" name="DOC_TITLE" value="wakpa's site"> <input type="image" src="http://mindit.netmind.com/images/mindit510.gif" border="0"></td> </tr><tr><td align="center"> <font face="arial,helvetica" size="-2">•<b> Powered by <a href="http://www.netmind.com" target="_top">NetMind</a> </b>•</font> </td></tr></table></form>   </div> <div>  </div> </td> <td valign="top" height=340 BGCOLOR="#CCFF66" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <B><IMG SRC="23923c30.gif" border=0 width="547" height="195" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></b></div> <bR> <div> F<FONT SIZE="6" COLOR="#FF0066" FACE="Boxed In" >eliz</FONT><FONT SIZE="6" COLOR="#0033FF" FACE="Boxed In" > </FONT>C<FONT SIZE="6" COLOR="#FF0066" FACE="Boxed In" >umpleanos</FONT></div> <div> <A HREF="id63.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Happy Birthday Luis"><U>H</U></A><FONT SIZE="6" COLOR="#00BF00" FACE="Boxed In" ><A HREF="id63.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Happy Birthday Luis"><U>appy</U></A></FONT><FONT SIZE="6" COLOR="#0033FF" FACE="Boxed In" > </FONT>B<FONT SIZE="6" COLOR="#00BF00" FACE="Boxed In" >irthday</FONT><FONT SIZE="6" COLOR="#0033FF" FACE="Boxed In" > </FONT></div> <div> Luis</div> <div> 14 September 1981</div> <div> <A HREF="id63.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Happy Birthday Luis"><U><B><IMG SRC="21f43e20.jpg" border=0 width="323" height="226" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></b></U></A></div> <bR> <div> <I><B>--------------------------------</b></I></div> <div> <I><B>my contaminated</b></I></div> <div> <B>SMILE</b></div> <div> <I><B> </b></I><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#0000FF" FACE="Verdana" ><B>Baring the fangs of help</b></FONT><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FF0000" FACE="Verdana" ><B> </b></FONT></div> <div> <I><B>by Joe Ehman</b></I></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>W</b><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#008080" FACE="Arial" ><B>hile waiting for a red light to change</b></FONT><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#808000" FACE="Arial" > </FONT><FONT SIZE="2" COLOR="#000000" FACE="Arial" >a fellow came up from behind me and "helped" me, grabbing my wheelchair handles, pushing me across the street. I heard him say from over my shoulder that if only I would put my faith in Jesus, the good Lord would help me walk again.</FONT></div> <div> I called back over my shoulder that Jesus better ask if I even want His help. Then I took one more step over the line, telling him that maybe Jesus could help make him white.</div> <bR> <div> Perhaps I'm oversensitive about help I don't ask for. I used to do it for a living, so I know.</div> <bR> <div> While studying to be a social worker, I landed a part-time job as a hospital orderly. I saw myself earning humanitarian brownie points for helping those people. I bragged to my friends about how I helped patients bathe, dress, toilet, feed. They couldn't do it themselves. I did it for them. When my friends told me how saintlike I was for laying my healing hands on the untouchables, I glowed.</div> <bR> <div> That's where I developed The Smile. </div> <div> My workday started when the nurse handed me the duty list. It was my job to do what was on that list and also to answer the call lights. I pitied those poor people. They needed my help. I had to do something to make their lives better: adjust the bed, reposition them, open the curtains... and never know or ask if that's what they wanted at all.</div> <bR> <div> Completing the duty list was helping the patients. Answering call lights was not my idea of help. When I saw a call light flash above a patient's door, dread and fear came over me. A call light meant that a patient wanted something unknown, something not on the duty list, something I might not know how to do, something I might not want to do.</div> <bR> <div> If a patient dared ask for any of the above, here came The Smile. Tilting my head 35 degrees to the right, I contorted my face into a large, painful, cheek-to-cheek smile, exposed my teeth, glared at them and said "I'll help you in a little while. Other patients need me right now." Then I could get back to the real helping.</div> <bR> <div> Helping reduced suffering and made me feel good. After I had finished acts of help, I waited like a vulture for expressions of gratitude. I'd helped, hadn't I? When thank-yous weren't forthcoming, it was clear to me that those people weren't even human enough to be grateful.</div> <bR> <div> To get the thanks I deserved, I sometimes stood over the bed, behind The Smile. In a scolding-wheedling tone I'd ask, "Now, aren't we forgetting something?"</div> <bR> <div> <B>Don't make me get the nurse</b><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#0000CC" FACE="Verdana" ><B>.</b></FONT></div> <div> <B>I</b><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#008080" FACE="Arial" ><B>f ever a patient refused my help</b></FONT><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000000" FACE="Arial" >, </FONT><FONT SIZE="2" COLOR="#000000" FACE="Arial" >I'd use The Smile. Behind it, I hid what I truly felt, disgust: You're pathetic. You make me uncomfortable. Helping you eases my discomfort about your existence, earns your gratitude, and gets me out of your room, quick. You say you don't want my help? Then I'll just have to make your life miserable.</FONT></div> <bR> <div> How could anyone refuse that smiling face? If anyone did, I'd lean over their bed again, smile more forcefully, and say, in my best holier-than-thou voice, I'm sorry<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000000" FACE="Arial" > but, </FONT>Doctor's orders, you know. <FONT SIZE="2" COLOR="#008080" FACE="Arial" ><I>Smile</I></FONT>. Don't make me get the nurse. <FONT SIZE="2" COLOR="#008080" FACE="Arial" ><I>Smile</I></FONT>. It's for your own good. <FONT SIZE="2" COLOR="#008080" FACE="Arial" ><I>Smile</I></FONT>. If you ever want to go home, you'll let me do that. <FONT SIZE="2" COLOR="#008080" FACE="Arial" >Smile</FONT>.<FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000000" FACE="Arial" > </FONT></div> <bR> <div> <B>Now the tables have turned.</b></div> <div> <B>T</b><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#008080" FACE="Arial" ><B>oday I'm a gimp</b></FONT><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000000" FACE="Arial" > </FONT><FONT SIZE="2" COLOR="#000000" FACE="Arial" >at the mercy of folks who help without asking what I want. By now I should know better, but I still don't seem able to resist the impulse to jump in and help. My former-roommate, Josh, is another quad, a higher quad. He's been a second class citizen for about two years now. When I see him reach into the fridge for a can of soda, struggle forever to grab it and take it out, I feel uncomfortable.</FONT></div> <div> It takes, sometimes, two or three attempts. Josh may even drop a can on the floor where he can't reach it before he gets another can to his lap. Then he has to get it to the counter where he takes another five minutes to open it.</div> <div> That drives me nuts. So, I jump right in and do it all for him, without asking. When I jump in with help, I'm not thinking about what Josh wants. I know what he needs: help! </div> <bR> <div> Refusing help is difficult, even in a more formal relationship. I had an attendant who kept wanting me to have French toast for breakfast. It was his specialty, see. I told him from day one that I have an espresso and bagel for breakfast. I didn't want French toast. He insisted. This went on for four days. On the fifth, after my shower and dressing, I rolled into the kitchen only to see him sauteeing the French toast I didn't want.</div> <bR> <div> He was just trying to help.</div> <bR> <div> Homer Page, who edits Disability Life and Handicapped Coloradan, tells how a homeless woman begged him for a buck. When she saw that Homer was blind, she refused to take the dollar. Her pity was more powerful than her need.</div> <bR> <div> The lesson: Even if you're so bad off that you have to beg on the streets, you can't let a cripple help you. That's lower than low.</div> <bR> <div> <B>And actual help. What about that?</b></div> <div> <FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#008080" FACE="Arial" ><B>I have plenty of friends who live in non-visitable houses</b></FONT><B>.</b> <FONT SIZE="2" COLOR="#000000" FACE="Arial" >Some offer to help me get in by hoisting me over their shoulders, doing a fireman's carry. They consider it preferential treatment. I ask them: if the Queen arrived for dinner, would they show their respect by throwing her over one shoulder, huffing and puffing her up the steps?</FONT></div> <bR> <div> Note: I used to allow this "special handling" just so I could visit my friends, just to fit in and not be left out. No more. I've been dropped too many times. If friends really want to help me, they'll put in a ramp.</div> <bR> <div> A ramp? Do I expect a ramp to magically appear everywhere I go? People say that's not realistic. That's when I ask them, "Would you live somewhere black folks aren't allowed?" Well, would you? Then I smile The <B>Smile</b>.</div> <bR> <div> I've had the benefit of professional training. <FONT SIZE="2" COLOR="#008080" FACE="Arial" ><B>Smile</b></FONT>. </div> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>